Honestly I’ve only stumbled onto my blog today because I got a notification of an automatic renewal payment coming out and I thought what the fuck I haven’t wrote anything in about 5 months.
What kind of blogger am I? 🤦🏻♀️
I always sit down at this time of year to write my new goals out for the year and have a look at the previous years objectives. I can honestly say I ticked off a good chunk of mine and I’m more determined than I’ve ever been for 2020s goals.
2019 has probably been the most successful yet unsuccessful year of my life. Starting a whole new life in London obviously being the key life change I’ve made, but with that I’ve also developed a whole new set of thoughts and feels that I’ve never experienced before.
I’ve had anxiety for the first time, I’ve felt so lonely I’ve cried myself to sleep, I’ve felt lost, I’ve felt not good enough, I’ve never felt more single and just outright sad than ever. I’ve felt like as I’ve moved to another city to better my life everyone else around me has overtook and is doing better, happier and I’ve felt left out. I’ve also learnt that all of the above is more than normal and by saying them out loud (or on social media cos same thing, right?) is the only way I’ll ever be able to overcome these feelings and do something about it.
I don’t want this to sound like I’ve been unhappy all year because I defiantly have not, I’ve only had these feelings for maybe the last 3 months and alongside them I’ve had some of the best days and experiences alongside making new life friends.
For 2020 the number one goal on my list is to become the best version of myself that I possibly can. I am going to go for everything I’ve ever wanted and stop fearing the outcome.
I want to wish everyone a happy new year and a special thank you if you’ve stuck around to still hear what I’m up too after all these years, I appreciate it. ❤️