Living in lockdown – how are we really getting on?!

Well gals, here we are.

Week 67 of lockdown?

I have honestly lost count of the time, days and weeks at the minute. Every day is Groundhog Day.

How are you getting on?

I think we have all been asked this question / asked this question to someone recently lol but does anyone really know the answer? Truth is there is no right or wrong way to feel in this situation because nobody has ever done it before. We are living in literal history. This will be a GCSE question in 20 years time folks 🤣.

I have been back home with my family for just over 6 weeks now, I was home for a ten day break before this really kicked off and low and behold I never got back to London. I don’t think we ever expected it to get this bad. For me ( and this sounds stupid I know) i just thought the rest of the world would go through it and we would skip on by somehow. Now we are all adjusting to the new ‘normal’.

Now more than ever, we are on our phones constantly, social media flat out refreshing looking at what everyone is doing and sharing what we are doing. I am grateful for this as I have a bit of a platform to distract myself with and throw my attention at. At the same time it can be the source of anxiety and stress. I only have a fraction of clothes with me; which is whatever I know because we aren’t going anywhere! But for me it’s the creative distraction I’m craving while I can’t work. Things like this can lead to constant comparison. Same with seeing people being more organised, doing more workouts, more baking more anything really. I am a very organised and routine driven person normally, so for me I need to write lists and plan things in my head to keep me going. Saying all this, I have had days where I have barley brushed my hair or got off the sofa mind you – but these days are gonna happen. While we all go through this new way of life what we need to remember is we can only do what feels right for us and our bodies. Some days we can take what everyone else is doing as motivation or we can say well fair play to them but I’m going to eat 5 Easter eggs today not run a 5k.

I can’t say I’ve learnt any new life skills so far but what advice I can give is to talk, be present and be kind. Keep in contact with everyone more now than ever, send a random message to someone you maybe haven’t seen in a while. Talk to your friends about how you’re feeling: even if it is to say you feel shit that day. Love everyone harder after this, hug everyone tighter and don’t ever say no to a night out again 😛

Stay safe everyone, see you on the other side of this.

Speak soon,

Lotsa love

AG xxo

2019 ✨

Honestly I’ve only stumbled onto my blog today because I got a notification of an automatic renewal payment coming out and I thought what the fuck I haven’t wrote anything in about 5 months.

What kind of blogger am I? 🤦🏻‍♀️

I always sit down at this time of year to write my new goals out for the year and have a look at the previous years objectives. I can honestly say I ticked off a good chunk of mine and I’m more determined than I’ve ever been for 2020s goals.

2019 has probably been the most successful yet unsuccessful year of my life. Starting a whole new life in London obviously being the key life change I’ve made, but with that I’ve also developed a whole new set of thoughts and feels that I’ve never experienced before.

I’ve had anxiety for the first time, I’ve felt so lonely I’ve cried myself to sleep, I’ve felt lost, I’ve felt not good enough, I’ve never felt more single and just outright sad than ever. I’ve felt like as I’ve moved to another city to better my life everyone else around me has overtook and is doing better, happier and I’ve felt left out. I’ve also learnt that all of the above is more than normal and by saying them out loud (or on social media cos same thing, right?) is the only way I’ll ever be able to overcome these feelings and do something about it.

I don’t want this to sound like I’ve been unhappy all year because I defiantly have not, I’ve only had these feelings for maybe the last 3 months and alongside them I’ve had some of the best days and experiences alongside making new life friends.

For 2020 the number one goal on my list is to become the best version of myself that I possibly can. I am going to go for everything I’ve ever wanted and stop fearing the outcome.

I want to wish everyone a happy new year and a special thank you if you’ve stuck around to still hear what I’m up too after all these years, I appreciate it. ❤️

Talk soon,

Lotsa love

AG xxo