What it’s really like living with cancer

Wow what a title. Dramatic eh? 🤣

Last week I feel like it’s actually really hit me that I’m ‘living with cancer’. Obviously and hopefully this won’t be forever but for the first time since being diagnosed a few months ago, it’s sunk in.

This might sound stupid and I can’t really explain it but I feel like I’ve nothing really to do right now so my thoughts are running away with me. When I got the initial diagnosis everyone around me was amazing, thoughtful, caring and quite frankly more upset than me. I was meeting people for lunches, coffees explaining what was going on like it was a script. I was telling my story; but it was that rehearsed it almost sounded like someone else’s life that I don’t think I was even hearing myself.

I got ready to begin my treatment and as I did that we went into another lockdown. I feared I would feel scared and alone having to go to the hospital every day by myself but i actually managed fine and strangely enjoyed the routine of having somewhere to go every day lol. 5 weeks flew by and I finished my last day of radiotherapy two weeks ago.

I’m now on a 6 week ‘break’. This is the time the treatment needs to fully work and hopefully shrink the tumour down to be operable on. I now have to rest, recuperate and try to process the harsh treatment my body has just went through – this is where I struggle, doing nothing lol.

When I rang that bell it was almost like I let a release of emotions out. I have felt very vulnerable and overwhelmed recently and I’m trying to process why am I feeling like this now? In my head I’m like I’ve handled it all so well before now why am I now starting to struggle? My support system is still amazing and my health team are all there if I need anything at all but I cannot help but feel so alone. So distracted with what my future will look like, so sad that it may not be what I envisioned for myself. I don’t think anyone will ever understand or fully relate on what you’re going through unless you have had the c word.

I know these thoughts and feelings are fine and I’m normal to feel them every now and again on this very long journey. I’m so unbelievably grateful to not feel harshly sick or be suffering with any major side effects so by writing this I just wanted to share a bit of what it looks like inside my head, some reality behind the looking ‘good’ on the outside. I have felt by being so open and honest with my story so far on social media it’s letting me deal with it in my own way, so for everyone who’s supported me with that, thank you. For everyone who randomly checks in to see ‘how I am’ thank you for that also, it’s not an easy time and one simple message can turn someone’s day around.

So while I take my 6 weeks to rest and get ready for the next stage of my journey, i accept a new set of thoughts and learn how to work them into the healing process of this mad mad year and get ready to keep on fighting.

Speak soon,

Lotsa love

Ag xxo

10 Self-Care Tips That Practically Won’t Cost You Anything

Nowadays, self-care is not only important, but it is also practical. When we say self-care, we don’t just mean using skin white toner or tea-tree-oil shampoo. Self-care goes beyond grooming and hygiene, as helpful as these things are.

A lot of people who let themselves go and neglected to care for themselves have suffered some form of anxiety and depression. This has led to folks not functioning well in the workplace and in society.

One has to learn how to take care of himself or herself to live a fuller life. Invest in yourself, too. You are as important as your other concerns.

10 Very Practical Self-Care Tips that Almost Costs Nothing

If you want to bring order to your life, start with your home. A messy and cluttered space adds to one’s stress and anxiety. Cleaning and organizing your space frees you from these unnecessary triggers. In this case, cleaning is no longer a chore but a therapy.

One of the things that add toxicity to life today is online exposure. Do yourself a favor and turn off those notifications. If you can’t completely disconnect, then keep your time online to a minimum and don’t argue with people in the comments section.

Journaling is a great way of unloading unwanted baggage off your shoulders. It allows you to go on a deeper and more intimate journey of self-discovery.

Taking naps allows your body to slow down for a few minutes and do a quick reboot especially when you’re exhausted and still have a long way to go. Taking a nap between 4:00 PM is also proven to give you a mental recharge and minimize weight gain.

We all tend to get caught up in the notion that we need to always be on the move to be productive. Thus, we run ourselves to the ground grinding and hustling. We fail to recognize that taking time off and doing absolutely nothing is also a crucial part of one’s productivity. It’s good for your health and well-being.

Dance is a great way to exercise without going to the gym or any classes. Sure, there are paid group classes or one-on-one sessions but if you don’t see yourself pursuing dance as a passion and just need an outlet to let loose, turn the volume up and just dance like no one’s looking.

A hobby is designed to distract you from your routine to re-energize you. If you have a few hobbies that you were into growing up, revisit them. If you don’t, try getting into one. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It just has to be something you’re interested in that you can pursue.

One of the simplest yet highly-therapeutic ways of enjoying life is to list down all the things you are thankful for in a small notepad. At the end of the day, go over that list and see just how blessed you still are.

Setting boundaries for people is a great way of reminding them that you are your own person and you are not at their beck and call. Stop trying to please everyone by being a “yes” man.

Life, as it is, is such a wonderful thing to not enjoy. Take time to live by laughing and playing. It is okay to have fun. In fact, it is important to have fun. It keeps you sane and energized.

It’s always a good thing to take care of others but in the process, do not neglect to take care of yourself. Remember, you can’t give what you don’t have.

Speak soon,

Lotsa love

AG xxo

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