I am on that yappy “I need another holiday” feel sorry for me moments…. 🙄
Also known as holiday blues right? But sitting on the plane back from Portugal last week listening to that 6 month year old scream from start to finish I thought to myself, we love the holidays but there’s always the same aggravations we just have to complain about on the way…
I hateeeee packing!! Why do these airlines give me an allowance?! Do they not know I can’t plan 7 day and night time outfits in one day? I will definitely want to bring at least 5 pairs of shoes, what if I’m bloated that day and can’t wear that bodycon dress? What if I don’t get tan enough and can’t wear the white bikini that is meant to make me look like a Victoria’s Secret model?
- Checking in
Like you have your passport, your tickets, boarding passes all that you could possibly need but you will still have that heart fall out your arse moment as you approach the check in desk. Following on from point one; what if my suitcase is overweight? I am not giving this bitch any extra money! What if she doesn’t put it on the right flight and it ends up in Australia? What if my passports lying and it’s actually out of date? The over reacting continues….
I’ve been at these security gates a hundred times but will have the same meltdown each experience. Do I need to take my shoes off? Belt? All of my rings? What about my belly button ring? Are them liquids under the limit? Is he gonna take my hair straighteners apart? Fuck I’m gonna beep going through these bloody things. Swear they think I’m Michellea McCollum….
- Take off
Right fab that’s us on our way, let’s go….Waits a further 30 mins for everyone to be seated. Mate just press that wee button on the overhead locker that’s how it opens? The fear of when the plane leaves the ground it’s just gonna topple back down into belfast international. Right that’s us up and settled ill have two of them vodka shots and a Zup for £18.
“Cabin crew prepare for landing” ohhhhhhh lads yes that’s us here!!! Takes further 30 mins for everyone to get off their seats, nobody still can open the overhead locker. Let’s all pile on to this bus here with 3 seats and practice our pull up skills while holding on for dear life. Sweet but though, it’s definitely at least 30 degrees – watches eyebrows sweat off. The arse opening moment again waiting for your case to fly by, no why is it not out first? Fuck definitely lost, I’m gonna have to wear the same shit all week. No worries here it is – how am I lifting this off?!!
Case sorted, on that transfer which has aircon so you dont mind as much sitting beside the hen party from newcastle. Driving past every hotel thinking “fuck hope that isn’t ours”
Arrival safe & sound. Bikini, selfie, beer…
Who can’t wait to jet off this summer? 😝